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Faith Life

Prayer Life

Love Life

Family Life

Civic Life

True Love, Dignity, Virtue & Sexuality
Dating, Marriage, & Real Relationships
Health & Wholeness: - "the SPICE of Life"

.
...also take time to ponder God’s personal love for you specifically.

(These three links are a good start.)

The Father's Love Letter

The Intimate Path

An Interview with God

 

True Love, Dignity, Virtue & Sexuality

The site links below are to help make known
the mystery and meaning of our humanity and of life itself;
namely, our call to love as God loves.

"We are ALL created in the image and likeness of Christ. When you really believe that, you will see the dignity within each person, simply because they are. If you do not see this dignity, it is impossible to live right: loving others as God has loved us.

When you know you are created in the image and likeness of God, you realize that through you others can experience the Light of Christ. The foundation of every Christian teaching and every moral principal is LOVE. And not just love as we would understand it, but to love as God has loved. So to truly understand how we are to live, the Pope challenges us to look at how God loves."

(reprinted from lifeteen.org)

This if often called "self-giving love", which involves seeking only what is truly best for the other person.

 

What about Virtue?

The four cardinal virtues are Prudence, Justice, Courage and Temperance.

"Becoming virtuous helps us toward becoming a real lover of God and of others.
...Prudence is right judgement or moral wisdom.
...Justice is doing what needs to be done once Prudence determines what is morally right.
...Courage keeps us steadfast when we are discouraged or confronted with adversity.
...Temperance directs our emotions [and
behavior] ...and channels our desires to the service of love."

(Ann Nerbun & Mary Ann Fey,  Understanding Chastity: the Mystery of Human Sexuality, 38, 42-43) 

Click here for our page on The Virtues - with links to
two other great sites that further expound upon them.

 

What about SEX ?

“Chastity” comes from the Latin castitas,
which means “pure, morally clean, unpolluted.”


Understanding Chastity: the Mystery of Human Sexuality
is a clear pocket-size booklet that's really worth it's weight in gold.
It's available at http://www.familyhonor.org/resources.htm.
(See box below for more info about Family Honor and sexuality education.)

Two more books that explain well the Church's teachings on sexuality
in clear, precise, modern-day language and question/answer format are:

Real Love: On Dating, Marriage, and the Real Meaning of Sex
available at http://www.reallove.net
and

Good News About Sex and Marriage
available at http://www.christopherwest.com

*** The three books mentioned above are MUST READS for young adults, engaged couples,
married couples, and those conducting marriage prep courses. ***
In addition to these books...

Click here to read the official church document
The Truth and Meaning of Human Sexuality.

Click here for more Straight Talk on Love and Dating
(godofdesire.com)
- See also http://www.lovematters.com
and http://www.pureloveclub.com
and
http://familyhonor.org/understanding_totb.html
and http://www.theologyofthebody.net/documents.htm
and Human Sexuality and True Fulfillment by Fr. Michael Callea, M.I.C.

Two great summary documents by the Love & Responsibility Foundation:
Pope John Paul II on Love & Responsibility
Freedom, Truth, Gift, Communion: JP2’s Theology of the Body
(NOTE: In order to view the last two documents above you need the free Adobe Acrobat Reader.)


FamilyHonor.org - Sexuality education at its best!
(for kids and parents)

 

Family Honor was created in 1987 to help provide opportunities for parents and children to connect on important life values, with a special emphasis on chastity and the goodness of God's gift of sexuality.

 

Their four main presentations (described below) teach life-changing truths to parents and their children in a clear, engaging, faithful and age-appropriate manner. The presenters have each been formally trained in the following areas, the truths of which are woven beautifully into the fabric of their presentations: Pope John Paul II’s Theology of the Body, chastity and virtue, fertility appreciation, family systems and healthy family life, psychosexual development of children and adolescents, research on abstinence education, communication skills that support family “connectedness”, and history/trends in sex education.

 

Leading & Loving - can help parents develop better parenting skills and learn to build a stronger family. Topics include: self-worth vs. self-esteem, effective communication skills, understanding child psychosexual development, fertility appreciation and much more. For parents only that have children up to age 14.

Changes & Challenges - teaches about God's wonderful gift of fertility and about the beauty of becoming an adult. Topics include: fertility appreciation, how babies grow in the mother's body, understanding the virtue of chastity, the SPICE concept (five dimensions of human personhood: spiritual, physical, intellectual, creative, emotional), and whole-person sexuality. For parents with their 6th grade sons or daughters.

Real Love & Real Life - teaches parents and adolescents to build a better family life by learning to communicate, anticipate and deal with changes. Topics include: fertility appreciation, learning about appropriate future dating behavior (as in older teens), developing values and responsibilities in the family, the changes in adolescence, and much more. For parents along with their 7th or 8th grade sons or daughters.

Created to Love - helps parents and teens maintain good communication and "connectedness" even as the teens move toward adulthood. Topics include: effective communication, fertility appreciation, dating, love vs. infatuation, and much more. Even as they move toward independence, teens still look to parents for guidance and support. This program can recharge that important relationship. For parents along with their 10th, 11th or 12th grade sons or daughters.

Click here for Helpful info about homosexuality
(couragerc.net)

and click below for some real solid
Medical and psychological research regarding homosexuality.
(Catholic Medical Association)

Understanding Child Sexual Development
and Teaching Children Healthy Sexuality

(pureintimacy.org)

Modesty Guidelines, Modest Clothing, Modest Dress:
Click here for a list of Modest Clothing online shopping links
(colleenhammond.com.hosting.domaindirect.com/resources.html)
...and PureFasion.com is a modelling program that offers modesty guidelines
and teaches the importance of living a life in accordance with God's will
and fostering a life of grace through purity of heart, mind, and body.
Models participate in an eight month Model Training Program covering:
public speaking, manners and social graces, hair and make up artistry, personal presentation and much more.

IMPORTANT:

For anyone facing an unwanted pregnancy and
the many worries, fears and difficulties that are associated:
please first see the following links to be fully informed about
all your options, including housing, education and career help, adoption attorneys, agencies and couples, and abortion facts.
http://www.pregnancycenters.org/
http://www.birthright.org
http://www.nurturingnetwork.org/needhelp.html
http://www.bethany.org
http://www.abortionfacts.com
http://www.standupgirl.com
Elliott Institute
- a leading researcher on how abortion harms women.
http://www.secondlookproject.org/
- for info about partial-birth abortion.

Covenant House
- provides shelter and services to homeless and runaway youth.
Good Counsel Homes
- provides homes and support for pregnant single women.

For anyone who may have already had an abortion:
please see the following links for real help, healing and hope.
http://www.postabortionhelp.org/
http://www.hopeafterabortion.com
http://home.wi.rr.com/noparh/women.html
http://home.wi.rr.com/noparh/recent.html
http://www.afterabortion.info/healing/index.htm
http://www.projectrachelboston.com
http://www.rachelsvineyard.org

Click here to Find a Pro-Life Ob/Gyn

Click here to Find a Pro-Life Physician

Couple-to-Couple League / Natural Family Planning

La Leche / Breastfeeding and Natural Child Spacing

 

What about Social Justice?

(See our Catholic Social Justice section.)

...and for those struggling with End-of-Life issues:
Click here for A CATHOLIC GUIDE TO END-OF-LIFE DECISIONS
 (National Catholic Bioethics Center, NCBC)
See also NCBC on John Paul II’s Address on Nutrition and Hydration for Patients in PVS
(ncbcenter.org)
and the Ethical and Religious Directives for Catholic Health Care Services
(National Conference of Catholic Bishops, NCCB)
Visit the Center for Bioethics & Human Dignity for various other topics regarding
defending and promoting human dignity in scientific research and medical practice.
(cbhd.org)

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Go to the Home page >
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CathoLinks.com - Online Resources for the Faithful

 

[ Home ]

[ Site Map ]

[ Contacts ]

 

Faith Life

Prayer Life

Love Life

Family Life

Civic Life

True Love, Dignity, Virtue & Sexuality
Dating, Marriage, & Real Relationships
Health & Wholeness: - "the SPICE of Life"

Dating, Marriage, & Real Relationships

The site links below are to help make known
the mystery and meaning of our humanity and of life itself;
namely, our call to love as God loves.

To have a "real relationship" you have to be willing to get real with one another.  This means real talk.
To do this you have to have a clear understanding of your feelings and be able to communicate them to one another.  Since a healthy marriage is the best example of a healthy relationship, here is a great tip from Marriage Encounters, as well as a link to their online Dialog Companion resource.  These helps, along with the deep truths found throughout our "Love Life" section, should help strengthen and guide all heart-to-heart relationships.


Always express your true feelings to one another.
The "I THINK vs. I FEEL" rule can help.
_______________________________________________

When issues or arguments arise and you're about to
tell someone how they've made you "feel",...

...if you can substitute "I am" for "I feel",
you are expressing a true feeling (emotion).

...if you can only substitute "I think" or "I believe" for "I feel",
it's just a thought or judgment, and better left unsaid.

Click here for the online Dialog Companion from Marriage Encounters.
(wwme.org)

Below is an anonymous poem about Being Real with others:

The Dilemma

To laugh is to risk appearing a fool
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental
To reach out for another is to risk involvement
To expose feelings is to risk rejection
To place your dreams before a crowd is to risk ridicule
To love is to risk not being loved in return
To go forward in the face of overwhelming odds is to risk failure

But risks must be taken
because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
The person who risks nothing
does nothing, has nothing, is nothing.
He may avoid suffering and sorrows,
but he cannot learn, feel, change, grow, or love.
Chained by his certitudes, he is a slave -
he has forfeited his freedom.
Only a person who takes risks is FREE.


Click here for a Path to Understanding Intimacy with God.
(lifeaftersunday.com)  [printer-friendly version]

Click here for a great essay on Understanding Behavior and Intimacy Disorder.
(pureintimacy.org)

E5 Men
“Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her.”  (Eph. 5)
Jesus gave up his body for his bride, the Church, and E5 Men give up their bodies for their brides through fasting.

These two site links offer help with Troubled Marriages:
http://www.retrouville.org
http://www.wwme.org
...and here is a great book on making/keeping marriages healthy
:  For Better…Forever

(See also our Health & Wholeness section.)

 

The Deep Truths contained in the Marriage Vows

"Because God uses spousal love as an image of His love for us, then let's look at how the Church defines marital love. And the best way to look at that is to look at the marriage vows:

Have you come here freely and without reservation to give yourselves to each other?  Will you love and honor each other as man and wife for the rest of your life?  Will you accept children lovingly from God?

Break these apart and you have five key requirements of the marriage vows (and of true love):

Free - Have you come here freely?
Full - Have you come here without reservation?
Faithful - Will you love and honor each other exclusively, above all others?
Fruitful - Will you accept children lovingly? Will you seek the one another's good above your own?
Forever - Is your commitment permanent no matter what, for as long as you both shall live?

Living this out is tough, but worth it. When a couple shares love - freely, fully, faithfully, fruitfully, and forever - they experience a deeper love of God.

"This makes sense for marriage, but what about the rest of the planet you aren't married to?"

Any act that's called "love" must meet ALL five of the above characteristics to be "True Love".

We are called to love everyone (family, friends, enemies…even your school janitor) with this sacrificial, unconditional love. The foundation of every relationship has to be love, freely given, with no strings attached. Love that is total, with nothing held back, no reservation or self-protection. Love that is faithful, true to the other person, honoring them and their dignity as a human being. Love that is fruitful, giving life to the other person, never taking away.

Only when we understand that we are created in the likeness of God, and that God is love, are we able to understand sex at all. Because right now our view of sex-shaped by the world-is so WARPED. They tell us we can find satisfaction in earthly things, that we can quench all desires with acts of lust. But sex outside of a sacramental marriage-oral sex, masturbation, pornography, homosexuality, sex with animals, sex with apple pie- none of these can speak the language that our bodies were created to speak.

Let me wrap this up with a passage from Romans 12:

"I urge you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God, your spiritual worship. Do not conform yourselves to this age but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and pleasing and perfect."

It is up to you to discern the authentic from the counterfeit. What will you decide? How will your body reflect the image and likeness of God? How will God's love for you effect your love for those around you?"

(reprinted from lifeteen.org)

What about SEX ?

(See also our True Love, Dignity, Virtue & Sexuality section.)

IMPORTANT:

For anyone facing an unwanted pregnancy and
the many worries, fears and difficulties that are associated:
please first see the following links to be fully informed about
all your options, including housing, education and career help, adoption attorneys, agencies and couples, and abortion facts.
http://www.pregnancycenters.org/
http://www.nurturingnetwork.org/needhelp.html
http://www.bethany.org
http://www.abortionfacts.com
http://www.standupgirl.com
Elliott Institute
- a leading researcher on how abortion harms women.
http://www.secondlookproject.org/
- for info about partial-birth abortion.

Covenant House
- provides shelter and services to homeless and runaway youth.
Good Counsel Homes
- provides homes and support for pregnant single women.

For anyone who may have already had an abortion:
please see the following links for real help, healing and hope.
http://www.postabortionhelp.org/
http://www.hopeafterabortion.com
http://home.wi.rr.com/noparh/women.html
http://home.wi.rr.com/noparh/recent.html
http://www.afterabortion.info/healing/index.htm
http://www.projectrachelboston.com
http://www.rachelsvineyard.org

Click here to find a pro-life Ob/Gyn

Click here to find a pro-life Physician

Couple-to-Couple League / Natural Family Planning

La Leche / Breastfeeding and Natural Child Spacing

Go to the top of this section >
Go to the Home page >
Go to the Site Map >

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CathoLinks.com - Online Resources for the Faithful

 

[ Home ]

[ Site Map ]

[ Contacts ]

 

Faith Life

Prayer Life

Love Life

Family Life

Civic Life

True Love, Dignity, Virtue & Sexuality
Dating, Marriage, & Real Relationships
Health & Wholeness: - "the SPICE of Life"

Health & Wholeness

The site links below are to help make known
the mystery and meaning of our humanity and of life itself;
namely, our call to love as God loves.

 

 Understanding Ourselves  |  Getting Help / Getting Healthy

Understanding Ourselves

What you are is God's gift to you.
What you become is your gift to God.

The 5 Dimensions of the Human Person
- "the SPICE of Life"

"Each of us has Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual, Creative and Emotional dimensions.

We call these the "SPICE" of life because it is the development and maturation of each of these personal aspects that makes life so incredibly rich.  To be fully expressive in imaging God means, first, that we each develop ourselves in our totality... Each person has to develop all the dimensions of his/her personhood (SPICE) to become fully mature.

...We are wholly sexual persons, body and soul, male and female images of God.  Our sexuality is who we are, not what we do.  As sexual persons, we are created good, meant to be held in honor, to become perfect, and to bring glory to God."

(Ann Nerbun & Mary Ann Fey,  Understanding Chastity: the Mystery of Human Sexuality, 19, 24) 


What about PERSONALITY ?

Our personality is a complex interplay of innate drives, needs and feelings.

Perhaps this can best be understood with our Understanding Ourselves chart
...and also by learning about Expressing Feelings, The Basic Four Temperaments,
and two other famous works: Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs
and
Erikson’s Stages of Psychosocial Development.

(NOTE: In order to view the Understanding Ourselves chart above you need the free Adobe Acrobat Reader.)

To have a "real relationship" you have to be willing to get real with one another.  This means real communication.
To do this it helps to have a clear understanding of your feelings and be able to share them with one another.  Since a healthy marriage is a good example of a healthy relationship, here is a great tip from Marriage Encounters, as well as a link to their online Dialog Companion resource.  helps, along with the deep truths found throughout our "Love Life" section, should help strengthen and guide all heart-to-heart relationships.


Always express your true feelings to one another.
The "I THINK vs. I FEEL" rule can help.
_______________________________________________

When issues or arguments arise and you're about to
tell someone how they've made you "feel",...

...if you can substitute "I am" for "I feel",
you are expressing a true feeling (emotion).

...if you can only substitute "I think" or "I believe" for "I feel",
it's just a thought or judgment, and better left unsaid.

Click here for the online Dialog Companion from Marriage Encounters.
(wwme.org)

Below is an anonymous poem about Being Real with others:

The Dilemma

To laugh is to risk appearing a fool
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental
To reach out for another is to risk involvement
To expose feelings is to risk rejection
To place your dreams before a crowd is to risk ridicule
To love is to risk not being loved in return
To go forward in the face of overwhelming odds is to risk failure

But risks must be taken
because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
The person who risks nothing
does nothing, has nothing, is nothing.
He may avoid suffering and sorrows,
but he cannot learn, feel, change, grow, or love.
Chained by his certitudes, he is a slave -
he has forfeited his freedom.
Only a person who takes risks is FREE.


Click here for a Path to Understanding Intimacy with God.
(lifeaftersunday.com)  [printer-friendly version]

Click here for a great essay on Understanding Behavior and Intimacy Disorder.
(pureintimacy.org)

E5 Men
“Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her.”  (Eph. 5)
Jesus gave up his body for his bride, the Church, and E5 Men give up their bodies for their brides through fasting.

These two site links offer help with Troubled Marriages:
http://www.retrouville.org
http://www.wwme.org
...and here is a great book on making/keeping marriages healthy
:  For Better…Forever

 

What about SEX ?

(See our True Love, Dignity, Virtue & Sexuality section.)

 

 Understanding Ourselves  |  Getting Help / Getting Healthy

Getting Help / Getting Healthy

IMPORTANT:

For anyone facing an unwanted pregnancy and
the many worries, fears and difficulties that are associated:
please first see the following links to be fully informed about
all your options, including housing, education and career help, adoption attorneys, agencies and couples, and abortion facts.
http://www.pregnancycenters.org/
http://www.birthright.org
http://www.nurturingnetwork.org/needhelp.html
http://www.bethany.org
http://www.abortionfacts.com
http://www.standupgirl.com
Elliott Institute
- a leading researcher on how abortion harms women.
http://www.secondlookproject.org/
- for info about partial-birth abortion.

Covenant House
- provides shelter and services to homeless and runaway youth.
Good Counsel Homes
- provides homes and support for pregnant single women.

For anyone who may have already had an abortion:
please see the following links for real help, healing and hope.
http://www.postabortionhelp.org/
http://www.hopeafterabortion.com
http://home.wi.rr.com/noparh/women.html
http://home.wi.rr.com/noparh/recent.html
http://www.afterabortion.info/healing/index.htm
http://www.projectrachelboston.com
http://www.rachelsvineyard.org

Click here to find a pro-life Ob/Gyn
Click here to find a pro-life Physician
Couple-to-Couple League / Natural Family Planning
La Leche / Breastfeeding and Natural Child Spacing

These two site links offer help with Troubled Marriages:

http://www.retrouville.org
http://www.wwme.org
...and here is a
great book on making/keeping marriages healthy:  For Better…Forever

Catholic therapists, counselors and psychology:

Click here for Guidelines for Selecting a Counselor or Therapist
(pureintimacy.org)
Click here to Find a Catholic Therapist
(catholictherapists.com)